Memories Never Fade
by EvilPinkPineapple
Summary: Lara remembers the good the bad, and a black eye which was ugly


Memories Never Fade - ONE PARTER!  
  
Lara sat on her sofa. She wasn't that old; yet she felt it. So much had happened to her in her life. The attempted rape, the accidental murder and the time in prison that followed. Her brief romances with Luke, which was later shown to the entire staff to humiliate her, and Harry wanting more from her. Being trapped in the cave with Harry and Simon, even though at the time there was no one she would rather less be in the cave with, although of course she would rather not have been in the cave at all.  
  
But she did get something out of the caves. She still felt the same about Harry - she loathed him. But Simon? Simon, she discovered, she had feelings for. He wasn't at all like anyone she'd previously been with, and it certainly wasn't easy being with him. But Lara didn't like easy, nothing easy ever lasted, and it wasn't worth lasting. Talking about lasting reminded her of Patrick. That certainly wasn't easy, but that didn't last either. Did anything last? Memories lasted, memories never faded.  
  
She could still remember the first time she met Patrick, the time she found out he was having an affair, the time she stood him up. She laughed as she remembered Patrick's attempt at a proposal. She'd been feeling down recently about Patrick, as it approached a year since he'd died. How had that year passed by so fast? It seemed to be just yesterday. But she couldn't think about that now. She had to remember the good times.  
  
She went through every meeting she could recall ever having with Patrick, there didn't seem to be enough. They were never serious, or at ease with each other. How stupid they had been - one of them always had to get at the other, or laugh, or insult them. It wasn't always Patrick either.  
  
There was the time Patrick got the promotion down South, and then Lara passed her grade 2 exams. Lara announced her plans to stay at Holby and apply for Patrick's old post.  
  
Patrick: And there was me thinking you'd go for a post near me?  
  
Lara: What? Like a sheep? I lead you follow?  
  
Patrick: Neatly put.  
  
Lara: Or like a bimbo. Either way, I don't think so.  
  
That last bit brought tears to Lara's eyes. Why had she been so stupid? Patrick was showing he wanted her to move down with him. Maybe if she had said yes straightaway, he would still be here...  
  
No, she couldn't think like that. There was that time she crashed into his car.  
  
Patrick: Oh my god. What did you do that for?  
  
Lara: It wasn't my fault.  
  
Patrick: You crashed into me!  
  
Lara: You shouldn't have suddenly stopped!  
  
Patrick: You weren't looking!  
  
Lara: Because you rang me... anyway what did you want?  
  
Patrick: I can't remember...  
  
Lara: Yes you can.  
  
Ahh, yes that was a better memory. Except, they were arguing. Were they always arguing? Is that how Patrick would remember her? Argumentative nagging Lara? There must me some good memory where they got on. How about the time they went to the jewellers?  
  
Patrick had led Lara there under the impression that he was going to buy a watch. Men, Lara had thought - How many watches do you need? But as Patrick said, you can never have too many watches. Anyway, when we went in, the jeweller produced a beautiful stone, of course it was beautiful - but I wasn't going to let Patrick know that. He bought it, and as we walked outside, I quizzed Patrick about it.  
  
Lara: You going to fill me in then?  
  
Patrick: I bought the diamond for an engagement ring.  
  
Lara: I see.  
  
Patrick: What do you think?  
  
Lara: It's ok.  
  
Patrick: Come on Lara, it's a stone to die for!  
  
Lara: And me?  
  
Patrick: What about you?  
  
Lara: Am I a stone to die for?  
  
Patrick: I'll let you know... when you decide to marry me.  
  
Lara: You haven't asked me to marry you.  
  
Patrick: Haven't I?  
  
Lara: No.  
  
Patrick: Well, that was a waste of a few quid then. Fancy a pizza?  
  
Lara: Certainly not.  
  
Patrick: Burger?  
  
Lara: Patrick...  
  
Patrick: Fish and chips then...  
  
That was typical of Lara. Patrick indirectly proposes to her, with a beautiful ring. And she snubs him. Why? Because she's Lara, she has to change people. Patrick, the man who never shows his feelings - she made him ask her directly. Later that night, however, Patrick became a bit more direct.  
  
Patrick was collecting his new car.  
  
Patrick: There she is! What a beautiful...  
  
Lara: You know, it's the care or me Patrick?  
  
Patrick: Fair enough. Bye then.  
  
Lara: Right.  
  
She then went to get in her car. She knew Patrick wouldn't just let her leave. He got in her car.  
  
Lara: What are you doing?  
  
Patrick: Get in.  
  
Lara: Why?  
  
Patrick: Shut the door.  
  
Lara: What?  
  
Patrick: Do you... erm... you know, do you wanna give it a go?  
  
Then Lara embarrassed herself.  
  
Lara: In here?  
  
Patrick: What?  
  
Lara: In the car?  
  
Patrick: No, not that.  
  
Typical Lara, thinking like that. Well she did always want to try it. She did with Luke eventually. No, back to Patrick.  
  
Lara: Oh.  
  
Patrick at lightning speed: Will you marry me?  
  
Lara barely catching it: Say that again.  
  
Patrick: What?  
  
Lara: What you just said.  
  
Patrick: What did I just say?  
  
Lara: You know what you said.  
  
Patrick: No I don't.  
  
Lara: Yes you do. Say it slower.  
  
Patrick: What?  
  
Lara: Will... you... marry... me...?  
  
Patrick (pleased with himself): Yes. Now, do you want to go on?  
  
Lara: In a minute.  
  
Then they both lay back in the car. Ah yes, remembered Lara faintly. That was the day someone punched her in the cubicles, that was so painful!  
  
Patrick: You know, you really should get that eye seen to.  
  
That was followed by a kiss. Patrick was a great kisser.  
  
Patrick: It's going to look really gross in the morning. Really ugly.  
  
More kisses. Patrick was the best kisser.  
  
Lara: What are you doing?  
  
Patrick: Well, you're not going to be that kissable in the morning.  
  
Lara: Is it really that bad?  
  
Patrick (teasing): Oh yeah...  
  
Even more kissing. I really miss Patrick  
  
Why couldn't we have run off? Got married, and started a new life. We'd be together. That day he proposed, that was the day before he died. The best day of my life, followed by the worst day of my life. That's what they say isn't it? Pride comes before a fall? But, I wouldn't say I was necessarily proud...just happy. Is there anything wrong with that.  
  
I take down the picture of me and my Idiot together at the cottage we stayed at. Even that was followed by the idiot being beaten up. It's the only picture we took together. It's not even a good one. I didn't even realise I loved him then. He looks so beautiful. I would give anything for him to be here now.  
  
I know it's time to move on. The times we shared together may not be perfect, but at least they were special, at least they were our times. I think Patrick knew how I felt about him. At least I accepted his proposal. At last. Well, I wasn't going to make it easy for him, was I? He had to realise how good he had it. I look at the picture again, and smile. I can still imagine us in the cottage. It's amazing that, isn't it? Over a year ago and I can still smell that musky smell, and his gorgeous, but overdone cologne. I can still hear his voice speaking to me. Well it's true, memories never fade. 


End file.
